It’s a fact, life is messy. 

Now I know the media will show you some other narrative, and the messages you receive from society will also encourage an alternative narrative; that white picket fence, social media accounts that portray exciting and perfect lives you might follow, but is that even real?

Let’s take a minute to really think about this

Let’s take a moment to reflect on the movies that moved you the most. There were probably some sort of challenges in the movie, some sort of disorder and messiness that really did reflect your everyday life. The film that comes to mind for me is I Am Sam. All the struggles that man went through really triggered something in me.

What I would love for you is to start learning to accept that life is messy, and I'm specifically speaking to those people who are struggling with perfectionism. I just want to let you know that perfectionism is an illusion and that it is the thing that often trips up my clients, and at times, it even trips up myself. 

Now, let’s take a look at what it means to have a messy life

A messy life means that maybe your house is a mess, maybe your finances are a mess, or maybe your love life is a mess. Maybe these areas in your life are not the ways you had hoped for, or had imagined. Maybe you compare it to the way that it appears in movies, and your life in comparison to that looks messy. Maybe your desk is messy, your family relationships are ‘dysfunctional’ (but let’s get real, whose isn’t?)  

The mess is the thing that we didn’t imagine, that we tried to avoid, and the areas in our lives that make us feel uncomfortable. The truth is, there's nothing we can really do to change it. We can manage it, we can decide what things we are going to pay more attention to, but we can also learn to accept it and work through it. Know this, when we see this mess, it’s not the end of the world and it's certainly not going to break us. 

Here are a few tips on how to become more accepting of a messy life:

1. First we have to accept the fact that life is messy and imperfect. We need to let go of our perfectionistic goals, because that’s what creates a lot of inner turmoil and frustration. 

2. I want you to write down names of people who you think have the perfect life, or who you believe don’t have a messy life. By each name I want you to also answer this question: Do you think their life is not messy because of what you see from the outside or for what you truly know? My guess is, it’s just what you’re seeing from the outside, but not from their true inner experiences.

3. And lastly, I want you to ask yourself what it would be like if there were no challenges in life. What would you do next? Would you truly be okay with that sort of life?

Takeaway

These are just things for you to think about. I’d love for you to try out those exercises and see what comes up, just for you to begin to accept the messiness of life. It is in the messiness where we learn our own strengths and other people's strengths. It's there where we learn about what we are capable of overcoming and our own greatness. 

If you want more encouragement and support, if you feel alone in your messiness, have a listen to my podcast, It Didn't Break Me, where I interview guests each week about the things they thought would break them, which in the end, did not. In each interview we’ll come to understand how they learned to discover the beauty within the mess.

More Blog Post’s you’ll Enjoy

Overcoming the Belief I am A Failure

How to Move Beyond Shame and Guilt

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