Perfectionism is a state of being and not a deeply rooted aspect of one’s personality.

We often feel trapped in perfectionist thought patterns when we’re trying to solve problems or when we try to take care of day-to-day tasks. In most cases, thinking through a perfectionist lens can paralyze us from actually solving problems, taking action and taking steps to move forward. In this article we’ll explore various steps and practices we can take in order to overcome perfectionistic thought patterns. 

Slow Down and Pay Close Attention to Your Thoughts 

The first place to start is always by paying close attention to our thoughts. Rather than just letting our thoughts control us, and obeying to our habitual thought patterns, we can start listening to how we speak to ourselves and the pressure we sometimes - even naturally, impose on ourselves. 

Once we start listening to how we internally talk to ourselves, we can rewrite the script. 

If our thoughts are driven by fears like: “It’s not good enough (therefore I am not good enough)”, “I’m not good at anything, I never do things right” or, “I won’t be loved if I can’t achieve this goal until it’s absolutely perfect,” then we’re making it really difficult for us to feel good or satisfied with the things we achieve in our daily lives. 

Ideally, we can start identifying thoughts along these lines, or driven by these fears, and learn to reassure ourselves with compassionate thoughts; as compassionate as we would be to others who we care about or love. This way we train ourselves to release these oppressive thoughts and exchange them for more compassionate ones. 

Focus Attention Elsewhere

Sometimes we hoan in and focus too much on our behaviors and actions. Instead of over analyzing the things we’ve said or done, how about aiming our atenas outward instead of always inward. Rather than focusing on the ways we may have fallen short, how about focusing on the beautiful events, people and things around us? If we open ourselves up to the world, instead of putting all this unnecessary pressure on ourselves, we can move towards a more realistic and balanced mindset. 

Be Brave and Take the Criticism When it’s There

In most cases, our perfectionist thoughts are driven by our fear of failure or criticism. Constructive criticism only guides us towards more productive outcomes. We all make mistakes, and a part of making mistakes is listening to constructive criticism to help us learn. Life is a learning process and we shouldn’t put all this pressure on ourselves to do everything perfectly. Because when we do, we often stress ourselves, and overlook the finer details that very often provide us with the answers we were looking for. Ask yourself why you might be afraid of criticism and how you would like to respond to any type of criticism. It’s actually not as scary as we hype it up to be. 

One Step at a Time

Again, we don’t want to put all this pressure on ourselves and feel stressed or overwhelmed. This is why we need to take things slowly, understand that real change comes in baby steps and enjoy the slow subtle changes, rather than putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves. 

Only true change comes in a slow and careful manner. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Allow yourself to work through the process, to make mistakes and to learn new techniques and methods for handling what life tosses our way. 

Change is all around us and there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be able to alter the ways we think and loosen up the imposing expectations that we put on ourselves. Just know you are an empowered and courageous person, capable of just about anything! 

More Blog Post’s you’ll Enjoy

Overcoming Perfectionism by Letting go of Procrastination

Overcoming the Belief I am A Failure

Three Ways to Overcome Overthinking

Relatable Podcast Episodes you’ll Enjoy from: It Didn’t Break Me Podcast

Breaking the Idea of Being a Strong Black Woman with Cafria Hart

Challenging Stigmas Through Our Stories

Connect With Bianca Hughes

Follow the “It Didn’t Break Me Podcast” on your favourite podcast player

Sign up to the newsletter (I provide tips and insights on overcoming perfectionism so you can embrace your imperfections and authentically be you together with my day to experiences of discovering the beauty within the mess).

Instagram: @authenticallybeyou (I am active here the most 🙂)

LinkedIn: Bianca Hughes

Pinterest: @authenticallybeyou